help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
