so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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