I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
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