i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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