Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
are you so shy because you have an std?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
