I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
