I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
