Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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