Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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