Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
