you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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