Christians are straight up FREAKS
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
