Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
