dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
This is my gift to your gina
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
