What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I'm gonna fight the coyote
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize