He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
