dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
