so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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