so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
