There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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