There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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