Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
