Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
My hand turned me down
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
