WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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