Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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