fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
