and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
