My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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