the new term for farting is butt boxing.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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