dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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