But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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