So drunk its hurt
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
never play flip cup with pint glasses
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
