And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
