we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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