It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
