oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
