You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Banned from zoo.
Again?
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
We need to get me chipped asap
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
