soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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