Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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