So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
