ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
