He told me they were just razor bumps!
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
