So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boobs speak an international language.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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