problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Randomize
