they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Randomize