Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
You left your phone here
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