i wish my penis had a tongue
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I just blew my weed a kiss
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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