Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
