Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
