I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
It's blow job season.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
