I have demons in me.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
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