Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
