please come you make the beer taste better
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
