He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
