Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
This toilet bowl is my home.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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