used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
found the other keg... it's in the tree
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
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