do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Randomize
