Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize