8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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