Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize