if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
