this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
