another moral hangover. fuck.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Randomize
