If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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