ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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