My underwear smells like fireworks.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
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