dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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