i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
