I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
