My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
