I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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