Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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