glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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